Life has been quiet since my last post (which was September 10th). The New England Chapter of the Special Libraries Association had a Lightning Talks event at a pharmaceutical company located in Boston's Seaport District on Wednesday, September 13th. It was pretty interesting, and it felt good to go out by myself and be social for a change. The event was catered by b.good, a fast-casual chain whose menu is comprised of burgers and other sandwiches, grain bowls, seasonal salads, smoothies, and milkshakes. They engage in business practices that I like and agree with, such as seasonal cooking and sustainable sourcing for their products.
Adrian's birthday is coming up next week, and he is taking three days off from work to relax and unwind. We do have a few things scheduled for that time. A plumber is coming over on Monday to install a new garbage disposal unit in the sink in our kitchen. The one that is there now is old, and needs to be replaced. Adrian has a dental appointment scheduled for Tuesday morning, and a doctor's appointment on Wednesday for his annual physical.
September 26th (Tuesday) will mark the 15th anniversary of my father's death. He died a few weeks into my junior year of high school. What makes September 26th rather tricky (and kinda weird) for me is that Adrian's birthday is also September 26th, so to say that I have a lot of mixed feelings about that day would be a fair assessment. One of the things that I randomly think about are how I wish that Dad could've met Adrian. I have no idea if they would've gotten along, or if my Dad would've even liked Adrian. I'd like to think that Dad would've liked Adrian for no other reason than because Adrian loves me, and I love him.
I also shake my head at the unfairness of how my parents were only together for 22 years - 3 years of dating, 19 years of being married. After Dad died, I remember being so angry that my parents never got to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary.
I miss having a father figure in my life. I also miss the missed opportunities. I would say that I think that I miss my Grandma more than I miss my Dad. I knew my Grandma better as a person - her likes and dislikes, her politics, her habits. I think that it would be fair to say that I took my Dad for granted while he was alive because I assumed that he would be alive for a lot longer, and/or that he would, somehow, get better when he first got sick.
I am afraid of the same thing happening to me. OK, maybe not the same exact thing, but, perhaps, something similar. I'm afraid of being left. I'm afraid of Adrian dying. I hope that he doesn't, not for a long, long time.
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